Search Results for: blog working through the difficult times in your marriage

Lowering Expectations in a Marriage

There is a fine line between learning to lower your expectations in a marriage and when to fight for what’s “right.”  Keep in mind that what’s considered right is all about perspective. Your right might not be my right…just as your spouse’s right might not be your right. One of the ways I try to gauge my “rights” is by how critical the issue really is; not how important it should be or I would like it to be.  But looking at it in a realistic and selfless manner. That isn’t easy, believe me.  It requires stepping back from the … Continue reading →

Marital Bliss Doesn’t Make a Marriage Work

Marital bliss…it is a common feeling experienced by newlyweds and one that seems to deteriorate with time. We tend to view this as a bad thing but I would like to challenge that. Marital bliss is romantic and all but there comes a point in your marriage when you have to learn how to live. The reality of life is that not everyday will be magical. There are bills to be paid, long days to get through, children to raise, pressures to deal with and the list goes on. This doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy marriage while dealing with all … Continue reading →

Feeling Disconnected

Most marriages will go through a time where you feel disconnected from one another. Sometimes this lasts a couple of days but in some cases it can last several weeks or even months. The feeling of disconnection is an awful one. Throughout our married years we have gone through different spurts where this has happened. It leaves you with a sick feeling in your stomach and the worry that you won’t make it through that time. I think it helps to know that most marriages do experience this at one time or another. Last week was one of those times … Continue reading →

Mormons and Divorce – Part Two: What are Grounds for Divorce?

As I stated in my previous blog in our “Mormons and Divorce” series, the goal is to do whatever it takes to keep our marriages strong and healthy so we can be together eternally. However, this is not always possible. While every situation is different and I can’t speak for your leaders or pretend to know more about your circumstances than I do, here are some examples of times when your Church leaders might be inclined to support your decision to divorce. Adultery. The Church has a firm stance on adultery and members who commit this sin will most generally … Continue reading →

There’s No Shame in Marriage Counseling

When I was a little girl, oh, twenty-five years ago, marriage counseling was something people only did if they were contemplating divorce. Whenever I heard that someone was seeing a therapist, it meant that horribly bad things were on the horizon. It was shameful—people would have hidden their therapists in plain brown wrappers if they could. It was with this mindset that I approached my own need to go to a therapist after my husband and I had been married for about eight years. We’d had some disagreements that we couldn’t resolve on our own, mostly stemming from the different … Continue reading →

Working Together–Staying Connected

It is important to work together in your marriage. There may be times when you disagree with your spouse, or times when you seem to constantly be going different directions. For example when my husband was in graduate school, the majority of his time was focused on school, and the majority of my time was focused on our family. However we were still able to work together by talking and staying connected on Sundays. Now that he works, we still work on staying connected and working together on our family. One way that you can continue to work together, even … Continue reading →

Your Marriage Doesn’t Have to be Boring

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Throughout a marriage, the partners go through all different types of stages. There are times of passion and intense love when things could not be better. There are also times of frustration and dissatisfaction when things seem to be falling apart. I once heard a woman complain that her husband was boring. She complained that he only wanted to sit around on the couch and watch television in his free time. When she asked him about going out on the weekends he always had rather stay at home. He spent his days working or doing yard work. This happens in … Continue reading →

Marriage Can Challenge You to Improve and Change

When we get married it is important to realize that we marriage is a chance for each of us to improve in caring and loving for others. Marriage is about love; it is also about sacrifice and working together. Marriages may go through difficult times when you wonder why you got married to each other or you may face difficult times as a married couple, such as watching a child struggling with an illness. Your response to these situations will change the outcome of your marriage relationship and will allow you the chance to grow spiritually as well. When we … Continue reading →

Supporting Each Other Through Struggles

There are difficult times in any relationship, just as there are difficult times in every person’s life. If you or your spouse are going through a difficult time in your lives, it is especially important to take time to strengthen and maintain your marriage relationship. If you are working together as a couple, this will help your children to feel safe, secure and strong. Here are five suggestions on how you can support your spouse during a difficult time in his life or in your marriage. 1. Pray for him. This will make a difference in the way that you … Continue reading →

Is the Second Divorce Easier Than the First?

There are many difficult things that we do in life that seemingly get easier each time that we do them. For example public speaking is usually a difficult and trying task the first time that it is done. However after several months of being in the public’s eye the speaking usually gets easier. In some cases, all it takes is proving to ourselves that we can do it and survive. After that some of the fear is taken out of the equation. I wonder if divorce is the same way? I have never been divorced. I have some friends that … Continue reading →